Random Post...

At the moment, I have no idea what I want to write about, so expect some streams of consciousness in this one.

I've just got back from having coffee with a friend, which was really lovely.I have a lot of respect for her as a woman, a mother, and as a Christian. I think it's nice to spend time with people like that.

We briefly spoke about marriage, because I was thinking about entering my 20s (EEK!) and a lot happens in your 20s... I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to get married. I didn't tell her, but secretly I know what kind of dress I want, the kind of ceremony it'll be and the kind of reception I'd have. I do think of these things, but I don't know.. if some idiot decides he wants to marry me...then who knows? I do have my little list of characteristics of what I'd like him to be like as well.. but shh don't tell anyone (as if posting this blog on the internet wasn't broadcasting it enough!!) It's not as if I'm in any rush to marry Prince Charming right now. I'm in the twilight of my teens, I'm at uni and it's not particularly perfect timing right now. At the same time, it would be nice to have some decent attention. I've had some not very nice 'secret relationships' in the past, and it's taken me a while to get over those. I suppose you could argue that I'm damaged goods, but I'm really not. I'm restored, redeemed sanctified and clean, thank you, Lord! (sounds like a song lyric *writes down*)
Now, I'm not writing this as a desperate spinster (ergh, that word!) ohhh woe is me, I'm single! or as COME AND GET ME BOYSSS! Nah, If a nice gentleman crosses my path and shows some interest, that will be lovely. I'm just not going to go out looking giving people a false impression of myself, there's no point in that. People can take me as I am.

Even if I don't get married, I'd like children. Rainbow babies-Not by lots of being naughty with rainbow men, but adopting. If I don't have the chance to conceive naturally, I'd like to be a mummy to other children who's own mummies are out of the picture. Even if I do have children, I would still like to either foster or adopt. Either way, I don't think I could cope without kids in my life. However, watching 'One Born Every Minute' on C4 has sort of put me off childbirth, not going to lie to you. Right now, though, I'm in no financial position to get married/have kids anyway, plus I'm don't graduate 'till I'm 22/23 anyway.

I told you this was going to be random... I'm procrastinating again. I'm meant to be packing to go back to university. Not quiiiite sure how I feel about it at the moment. It's not like last time where I had to establish myself and make friends, but it's the whole 'leaving people behind' thing again. What if people forget about me? Sad times. I never forget a person I meet, especially if they've made an impression on my life. I'm completely rubbish with names though... working on the whole memory thing..

The house is a bit weird at the moment. Something's up with my brother and he's being secretive about it all (any praying folk please lift him up, he's not a Christian, but it would be nice to know he has support) and the washing machine/dishwasher has broken so there's water everywhere ('Water water everywhere, yet not a drop to drink' Grrr Ancient Mariner!)Nightmare! I don't know whether to take it as a sign that I should stay, or go back... hmm, either way, dad's driving me back tomorrow-though with my stupidly small amount of contact time, and it only being about 2 hours away by train, I should just commute, but i do pay almost £5,000 for my lush room, plus I'd miss my friends. URGH, I'm torn. I'm going back, whether I like it or not. I know I will, so it's OK.

Right, I'm going to stop there, lots to be done... I don't even know if anyone reads my blog, it's just an output really... whoever does read this, I love you :)

Beth x